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"Next up, when nature calls, no one gets out alone (Em-Bear-Assed).and.Mr."If you're not breathing hard and sweating after all of this, check your pulse.We've got a smoker who wound up getting flamed (Butt F***ed).a beautiful dreamer who couldn't wake up (Frightmare).a pool shot who's hard to swallow (Midnight Choker).peeping perverts, the ultimate late-night snack (Window Pained).and to top it off, freaks in animal suits doing the wild thing (Em-Bear-Assed)." "Death is flying in, and it's never been just wrong."When we come back, a motorcycle racer goes to pieces on a dry lakebed."ĭeath Over Easy (doesn't explain Oprah Winfried)."Coming up, a circus freak lives by the sword, and dies by the.umbrella (Dumbrella)? And a nymphomaniac finally meets her match."Up next, Horny Hubby gets one-on-one with hornets (Me So Horny).and two college kids find out that life's a ball.when you die (Gasketballed).".Here you'll meet the lawyer.who winds up taking the fall (Habeas Corpse).the Texan whose hot wife gives him the hives (Me So Hornet).the sword swallower who bites off more than he can chew (Dumbrella).a sexaholic who goes organic (Killdo).some crazy co-eds who think life's a gas (Gasketballed).and a wood chipper with a manly appetite (Chippin' Dale)." That's why you're watching the next episode of 1000 Ways to Die. "("Are you horny for this right here?") Of course you are.Unforced Errors (first episode of Ron Perlman's narrations in the show) The fact that we survive at all is a miracle. Every day we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, and catastrophe. Most of us try to avoid it, others can't get out of its way. Do not attempt to try any of the actions depicted. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased. Seasons 2-6: " Warning: The stories portrayed in this show are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic.
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Season 1 only: " Warning: The deaths portrayed in this show are real and extremely graphic.
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1.43 Think Globally, Die Locally (final episode of Ron Perlman's narrations in the show)Įpisode Intro Narrations (in release order) Warning Screen/Show Intro.1.42 Enter the Ferret (doesn't explain A Chainus Runs Through It).1.41 Sor-Dead Affair (doesn't explain Xmas-turbator).1.40 Locked and Low Dead (doesn't explain Lazy Bumday).1.38 Dirt Nap (doesn't explain Shop 'Till You Drown).1.37 Grave Decisions: The Halloween Episode (doesn't explain Chain on You).1.36 Death By Request: Special (AKA: The Deathies).1.35 Death - The Gift That Lasts Forever (doesn't explain Gory Holed).1.34 Eat, Pray, Die (doesn't explain Ich Bin Ein Stoner).1.33 Today's Special: Death (doesn't explain Smother-In-Law and That's-A-Morte!).1.30 That's "Mister Death" to You (doesn't explain Crappy Ending).1.29 Stupid Is As Death Does (doesn't explain Moving Violation).1.26 Killing Them Softly (doesn't explain Master E-Raced).
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